Applying to college is often stressful for both students and parents. While completing applications and meeting deadlines is the student’s responsibility, parents can provide support and encouragement. Here are some ways parents can help.
Organization—There is a lot of paperwork involved in the application process. Help your child put together a safe, easy-to-access place to store all of the college application materials. But don’t do too much. This needs to be your child’s job, not yours. If you are putting more effort into the process than your child, take a deep breath and a step back. Putting your child in charge of managing the process, even if he is moving slower than you would like, will help him cement the organizational and time management skills needed to be successful in college. Don’t deny your child this important learning and growth opportunity.
Make sure your child gets rest, eats well, and has time for fun. Applying to college, while keeping up grades and maintaining a full schedule of after-school activities, is challenging for most students. Help keep stress to a minimum, and make sure she stays healthy.
Ask how applications are going, but don’t nag! Most students appreciate their parents’ interest in their college applications, but be careful not to inadvertently add more pressure. Expect that your child may, at times, seem to be living in a parallel universe where time moves at a much slower speed. That does not mean that she is ignoring looming deadlines, or that everything won’t get done on time. It may, however, get done on your child’s schedule, instead of yours.
Apply for financial aid on time. Create a master list of requirements and deadlines for each college on your child’s list, and respond promptly to college requests for financial information. Since colleges base financial aid on your previous year’s income, plan to do your taxes as soon as possible after January 1st of senior year.
Check your worries and anxieties at the door. Although it’s normal for parents to feel anxious, don’t let your own worry add to your child’s already high stress levels. Insisting that she add colleges to her list at the last minute “just in case”, rewriting her essays, or talking about your daughter’s chances of admission with other parents may send the message that you don’t believe she’ll be admitted. Your child needs to feel that you are confident that everything will turn out OK. So assure your child that you know she will be happy and successful at whichever college she ends up attending.
Offer lots of love, hugs, and support. This is an important experience, made easier if it is a loving journey, rather than an anxious one.
